A time to look back…

It’s the end of the year. And it’s unusually warm for this time of the year. Kind of similar to the year that’s drawing to a dull end. A year that started with lots of activity – hectic deadlines, weekly travel and the worst weather I have seen so far. With spring came the promise of a new start. The promise lived up to its billing for the first couple of months. But since then it has been all downhill. To be fair, I am not exactly in the dumps… but pretty close, by my standards. If I am not excited about going to work every morning, I might as well not go. And that’s the problem I am trying to put behind me right now. But outside of work, life’s been pretty good. I have enjoyed my time with my mates, traveled a bit – though, not as much as I would have liked to – and read a few good books. All in all a very relaxed year.

And that’s what irritates the hell out of me. I don’t need a friggin relaxed year at this time in my life. I need daily excitement. I need challenges that will make me reach out beyond myself. I need to feel the rush!

The tragedy of visualization

Honey, how do you visualize our first day together after almost a year of separation?
Sweetie, what do you wanna do on your vacation?
And there are many other innocent-sounding questions like that...

Don't answer them. It's a goddamn trap.
What I would like to say to the 2 sample questions above, respectively, is...
- Mmmmm, order home delivery, light a fire, throw the rug down on the floor and fuck like minks!
- Why do I need a plan? It's a vacation, innit???

Instead what I end up mumbling is something like...
- Sweetheart I just wanna hold you close and whisper sweet nothings in your ears and make you laugh
- I'd love to hire a boat and take you out on a ride to a secluded island
And she goes... that choooo chhhwwweeeeet. Tell me in more detail. How do you really see it happening?

Crash! Bang! Whump!!!

Visualizing a moment before it's time is a cardinal sin that one should always be wary of. I have ruined many beautiful moments because I saw them over and over in anticipation and then sulked in the actual moment coz it did not turn out to be what I had thought. So much for the power of visualization. It's a trap we all fall for invariably and often repeatedly. And although the examples above relate to relationships, the rule applies equally well to professional situations.

Live in the moment. It's the greatest because you are alive and ensures good memories even if the future is not so rosy. Good memories are good karma - you owe them to yourself.

Swearing is good for health

I like swearing!

A good loud swear is like a roaring ringing sneeze - leaves a wake of distressed neighbours, but relieves you like nothing else can, at that precise moment. Everytime I let one out, I feel lighter. I feel happier for having dumped my load of unhappiness instead of lugging it around.

I see that my assertions are hardly convincing. So here are some situations for you. Tell me what words come to your mouth before anything else in response...

1. Your Wintel machine hangs on you just when you are wrapping up a long email. Of course MS didn't save the draft for you
2. Put on your best party dress, step out in the breezy, minty, fresh from rain night and SPLAT! A car just passed by and one of it's wheels happened to slice through the nearby puddle
3. You have sliced or hooked your last 5 shots at the driving range. A hottie in the shortest of shorts walks up 2 mats from you. You barely have the time to admire her legs and whack - she drives a perfect 160 yards

So next time you feel like it, just let it rip...

Must add a disclaimer here though - don't swear loudly in Hindi! Some languages lend themselves naturally to swearing - Hindi is NOT one of them. A crass word in Hindi is just that - crass. You won't get any emotional support or understanding if you let out a loud BC, MC or other such dignified phrases. Having said that, I must also add that I find it really funny to observe the hypocrisy that most modern Indian women seem to display these days - it's fine to say fuck, asshole, bitch, whatever in English, but don't you dare utter a gaali in Hindi. It's just not acceptable!

But then I have seen exceptions to this too. In b-school you will see gals swearing in Hindi with as much venom or emotion as a guy can muster in the same situation. Rumour has it that girls outdo the guys by a fair margin and flair in this dept at the annual competition between XLRI and IIM-C. Now there's a reason to clear CAT or XAT!

And if you thought swearing is just about hate or anger, listen to this anthem...



And how can one forget Osho's take on the versatility of the word "FUCK"

You know it's time...

You know it's time to start looking for a job when...

1. 4 executives are sitting and chatting about at the breakfast table for the last 15 mins in the cafeteria at 9am on a Tuesday morning
2. When all the thrones in the restroom are always occupied
3. When replying to an email within the hour is considered prompt response
4. When you can't find time on someone's calendar for a week, but keep running into him in the restroom
5. When your boss starts explaining consulting, when he actually means implementation and tracking
6. When the parking lot is almost half-empty at 8:45 on a Friday and even worse at 4:30 in the afternoon
7. When you have been listening to monologues in meetings and are going in circles within the first 10 mins of a 1-hr meeting
8. When follow-up is required even after an edict has been issued by the top dog

3 wkts in 32 overs? NO CAN DO SIR!!!

That's what Team India said at Old Trafford today.

When was the last time you saw a bowling attack so fuckin incapable of bowling wicket-taking deliveries? And this is supposed to be the pride and joy of more than a billion people - the Indian Cricket Team, HA!!! They almost did the unthinkable today when RP and Dhoni ran out Collingwood! And I thought this one's in the bag... well, so much for confidence and faith.

This is it... I am not gonna follow the Indian cricket team anymore.

A ball, a stick and some Instincts...

Golf is a funny game.

There's one school of golf which swears by the art and technique of a swing. And the swing is the end-all be-all of the sport for them. Everything else falls in right if you master the swing! But of course no one has the ideal swing. Would it be Tiger's? Or would it be Nickalus'?Or would it be mine?

Then there's the other school of thought which says there is a ball, there is a club and there's instinct. Everything else happens if you just hit the ball with the club. The club is angled to provide the trajectory to the shot. The ball is stationary, so just aim for the right spot on the ball. And let your instinct take over, just like a child would hit a ball with a stick!

I started off getting indoctrinated into the first school because I took golf lessons last year at ISB. And of course all instructors only talk about the swing! But over the last couple of months, I have just been swinging alone at the range near my office. And I am beginning to let instinct take over. I see the ball, I hit the ball. But there's still technique to it. It's not all wild heaving. I still have to work on the angle at which my arm comes down. And I certainly have to work on keeping my wrists steady. The easiest thing to do by instinct is to let the wrists control the shot at the time of impact. DON'T DO THAT! It can only lead to sore wrists within a couple of days. And then instincts, or no instincts, you don't wanna hit the driving range when it hurts with every swing.

So just like with most other sports, a good blend of technique and instinct will probably serve me better than either one alone. I guess somewhere along the way I had simply forgotten that Golf is also a sport!

...because, it's there!

On top of the peak, after an arduous 6-hr climb, I lay exhausted... soaking up the sun. And I thought...

Why did I want to climb this peak? Was it prove my fitness to myself? I could have done that in the gym or in the pool... didn't need to take a 3-day trip to Yosemite for that! Maybe I did it just to break the monotony of an urban existence... maybe. The simple answer is that I did it
- because the peak was there to be taken

Why do we want to surf gigantic 100 foot waves in the pacific?
- because the waves are there to be conquered

Why do we want to explore space?
- because it's all around us challenging us constantly

Why does one need to sail across the world?
- because the winds and the seas are there to be explored

Why do I want to trek the Himalayas one day?
- because it's there

The key to most adventurous undertakings in our lives is pretty simple.
We do it... because it's there!!!

Half Dome Conquered!

16 mile (25.6 km) round trip hike
8800 ft above sealevel
900 ft of almost vertical climb in the end
- 500 ft of knee-jarring foot high steps
- 400 ft of near vertical body haul supported by 2 cables
11 hrs of continuous walking
.
.
.

A breath of fresh air at the top to wipe out the fatigue
A dip in the cold stream to wash off the grime
The smile on my face along with the pain in my legs... PRICELESS!!!

The Trek
Pics from the Yosemite Trip

Moments on a green field

The simple joys of cricket...

1. A beautiful outswinger - pitched on middle, squaring up the batsman and swinging late to sneak past the outside edge to clip the top of off stump
2. A perfect toe-crusher hitting the base of middle and leg and toppling the hapless batsmen in a futile attempt to dig it out
3. A well-anticipated bouncer hooked perfectly to the fine leg fence
4. A wristy flick to send the ball soaring high over the square leg fence
5. An inside-out six over cover to a leggie
6. A backfoot punch beating the cover fielder in a race to the extra cover boundary
7. A high-backlift straight drive between the bowler and the umpire
8. A searing upper cut over point
9. A cherry plucked out of thin air at gully
10. A left-arm quick jagging one back in to take out the middle stump
11. A prowler at point pouncing on a square cut and breaking the timber at the non-striker's end in one smooth motion
12. A flowing cover-drive from a south-paw

There is skill, talent, instinct, intellect and above all a competitive spirit in every moment of this glorious sport...

A Period of Consequences?

Global Warming - it's a burning issue right now.

I was watching An Inconvenient Truth. And I turned it off half-way through. It was too intense for me to let it pass by as just another documentary. I will finish the remainder of the movie tomorrow. And I am sure I will buy it so that I can go back to it many many more times in future. Every few minutes, this film throws up a bit of information to rattle you. The CO2 levels and consequently the global temperature going through the roof - and this roof is relative to the last 650,000 years of earth's existence. The polar ice caps are melting. In 50 years, there will be NO ICE at the poles during summer. For me personally the poles of the earth have always conjured up visions of ice as far as the eye can see, explorers on sledges and polar bears. The largest ice shelf on the earth recently broke in half. It just snapped, couldn't take it anymore. In 50 years from now, at currently increasing rates of warming, we cannot imagine what will the earth be like. Will there be any humans left to imagine?

There is increasing chatter about geoengineering as a potential solution for all our environmental problems. There is a lot of political debate going on whether humans should tamper with nature any further in the name of survival? The argument is that we have already tampered with nature by releasing greenhouse gases and CO2 that will stay for throusands of years to come. So why not take it to the next step to prevent some of the repurcussions? And how exactly do we propose to control the damage? Well the ideas range from ridiculous - setting up giant space mirrors to reflect sunlight back, since the ice won't be around to do that - to the horrendous - alteration of rainfall patterns through seeding of clouds or creation of vast artificial water bodies where none exists now. One can only imagine what the scientists will have to say if the rains went out of control or if the artificial water body upset the local ecosystem - they would say "OOPS, my bad! But this was not supposed to happen".

But then, do I have anything more than my cynicism to offer? Unfortunately, the short answer is NO. And the reason is that I don't think it is possible to go back to a non-polluting way of living on a mass scale. Progress as we have defined it over the years can come only at a price. I cannot imagine life without electricity, mass and quick transportation, telecom and global trade. It is possible to achieve this on an individual basis, but not on a global scale. So, I reluctantly agree that geoengineering might be our best bet as of now. Until further research in the name of dilligence throws up something more potent...

Are we staring at a "period of consequences" as Churchill put it so bluntly?

Jo dar gaya.... woh mar gaya!!!

Fear is such a primal emotion that it can bring out the best and the worst in us.
Fear of an enemy - it can force you into resignation even before the start of a fight
Fear of death - it can motivate you to your greatest escape
Fear of stagnation - it can lead you to the most adventurous journeys
Fear of truth - it can force you to create your own universe of lies
Fear of rejection - it can make you a second-hand individual (all you Ayn Rand fanatics will understand this)
Fear of destiny - it can rot your very core and suck all ambition out of you
Fear of loss - it can debase you to crave victory at any cost and by any means. It can bring out the animal in you

Yet, there is such a thin line between fear and belief, between fear and confidence, between fear and courage, between life and death.

Gabbar ne sach kaha tha - Jo dar gaya, woh mar gaya! :)

Of 73,44,000 seconds and 6 books

My last post is almost 3 months old as I am typing this out. In the 73,44,000 seconds that have elapsed since then, what have I achieved?

To tell you the truth, there is nothing to write about all those millions of wasted seconds. I warmed my chair at work during weekdays. Went to the gym or played squash during weeknights. Played cricket and watched movies on weekends. No travel, no new activity, no challenges, no break from the routine!

But yes, I did read a few good books during this passage of time. Anderson Cooper fascinated me with his Dispatches from the Edge. Bill Bryson humored me with his adventurous Walk in the Woods. And he is dazzling me with mundane facts in A Short History of Nearly Everything. Chris Anderson's exploration of The Long Tail was captivating to say the least. And Ashok Banker had me craving for more through the Prince of Ayodhya, the first book of his 6-volume Ramayana series. Oh, and Michael Lewis, he of the Liar's Poker fame, also had me eating out of his hands with Next, and collection of groundbreaking stories from the early days of the internet.

So, is that justice to the 3 months of supposedly wasted time? Yeah, I think so! Although I would have been happy to finish at least 2/3 more page-turners. But then page-turners are a hard breed to find.

Another usless(?) list...

Things that absolutely frustrate me and make me want to rip my hair out…
- not having enough work to occupy the entire day
- moments when I feel incapable of any thought, not because I am exhausted, but because there simply isn’t anything I am thinking about. Absolute BLANK!
- People not taking ownership of their tasks
- Being dependent on others for info and them stalling despite being aware of the discomfort it’s causing me
- Lack of respect for other’s time
- Asking for help without having explored the options thereby undermining one’s own intellect

I have been guilty of some of the above. Other points, I have gathered from others’ behaviour. But does it help to make a list such as the one above? That’s like asking whether contemplation helps. Of course it helps…

At least I know now what bothers me and what factors I should keep in mind when making a decision and even in day-to-day life. Identifying the cause of frustration definitely goes a long way in relieving the anxiety. And it makes me more tolerant towards myself and more importantly towards others…

Peer production and its impact

Flickr acquired by Yahoo for anywhere between 30 to 50 Million dollars
YouTube acquired by Google for 1.5 Billion dollars
Facebook received a Billion dollar bid from Yahoo… and 750 million before that from Viacom. Not bad for a 3-yr old startup. By the way, the 23-yr old CEO and his angel investor think it is worth far more. So they did NOT sell!

You either have to have balls of titanium or you have to be nuts to refuse those offers. He is probably both…

So, what is it about the Web 2.0 companies that is pushing these deals into outer space? Are their so called social networks really worth so much? Let’s think about it…

What value does Facebook bring to the table through its “30 million and counting” members? Or does the fact that is it the sixth largest website on the net make any difference (1% of the entire traffic on the web goes to Facebook)? Maybe the loyalty factor adds some value (almost half the members visit Facebook every single day!). Or consider the fact that it is largest photo site (6 million photographs uploaded everyday), even bigger than dedicated photo-sharing sites like Flickr. So, you got millions of connected users forming millions of virtual communities around common grounds and areas of interest… big friggin deal??? YOU BET!!!

You will get an idea of the potential, if you…
- try to quantify the reach of this massive network
- think about the targeted advertising potential of this site
- visualize the buying potential of this motley group of people
- imagine the media penetration achievable through this audience
- think about the possibilities for social research – latest trends, fashion, opinion
- comprehend the power of this lobby, if it were to come together for a cause
- IMAGINE…

No one ever visualized the power of peer production… it just happened… like all other quantum jumps in human progress. This phenomenon that started with the open source movement is now beginning to challenge the very core of proprietary software and thereby reshaping the assumptions behind the traditional way of doing business and making money.

The bigger question being raised here is – is it necessary to have proprietary products or access to limited information to be able to make money? Is collaborative software and peer production ushering the end of software products as we know them?

Take your pick...

Life's a bitch... or perhaps a beach...

perhaps you want a bit of both!

A high paying cushy job... or the grime and glory of pursuing a dream...

mind you the glory is not guaranteed. But those who start loving the grime don't give a flying f%#$ about the glory.

A wardrobe full of brands for yourself... or spending that fat paycheck for a cause...

yes it's fashionable to do the latter and then go to the club to sip a few bottles of wine over self-gloating narratives. Spend it on the brands, the deprived of the world don't need your charity... they will survive anyway.

Travel for pleasure... or travel home to meet the people who matter...

that's a relatively more acute issue for all you expats. Take that pleasure trip, your folks will still be there when you get back. But if you can, take them along stupid!

A good book on a lazy afternoon... or a smashing workout...

this one isn't necessarily an individual choice. So I am gonna go with that classic answer... IT DEPENDS! :D

Girl next door... or the hot-bod at the gym...

look closer, the one next door may have an equally hot bod ;)

I suppose it's not about choices all the time. It is possible to marry the 2 sides and make it more beneficial for all. That would translate to expanding the pie by bringing the pieces together. And therein lies the skill...

So where's that girl next door??? ;)

The fall...

You put a woman on a pedestal...

And sure enough, she is gonna fall from it someday...

But whose fall is it anyway?

Passion never fades away...

I see her standing in the corner of the room, leaning effortlessly against the wall.
The curve of her hips, jutting out tantalizingly – perfect, inviting a soft caress.
The slender neck – almost fragile, and surprisingly sensitive.

My fingers tremble with anticipation as I reach out to her.

Her response – instantaneous.
Her intensity – matching mine. Soft purring for a feather-touch, a loud scream if I force her.
The fit – she almost molds into my arms.

As I begin to explore, I realize

Her purpose – to give me joy, to just obey my commands.
She won’t – do anything on her own.
But she will – make music, if only I can, with her!

I am obviously still in love
.
.
.
With the Guitar!

Find your Everest

What does it take to get to the roof of the world? Before you start counting the money (yes because there are guided tours available for a few thousand dollars) let me tell you that I am not talking about a guided tour.

What does it take to actually climb the mountain, the hard way? More than anything else, I think you have to be insane! Insane about wanting to attempt to breathe at almost the same altitude as a Boeing Jet cruises on cross-continent flights. Insane about backing yourself against the thundering gales and snowstorms that come out of nowhere within a matter of hours! Insane about shivering and sweating at the same time coz the sun won't relent and the temperature won't rise. Insane about trying to force food down your throat when swallowing your own spit takes an effort. Insane about risking life and limb to frostbite, bypothermia, HACE and HAPE. Insane enough to be able to walk by more than a 100 corpses that line the slopes of Sagarmatha! Insane enough for you???

So why have so many people attempted to conquer the peak since it was discovered to be the highest peak of the world? I suppose there are some humans who are always motivated by the seemingly impossible. It lends a prupose to their lives. Some are gifted. Some are just plain hard-asses with their brains jammed halfway up their backsides. No amount of cajoling will turn them away from a waiting grave on the treachorous slopes. But irrespective of which category you belong to you have to be out of your mind to even contemplate it.

The mountain tests you in every possible way before letting you to the top. But one breath of the rarified air on the top can wash away all the fatigue - until your start descending from the top. And therein lies the secret - that getting to the top is only half the battle!

So, find your own Everest and carve a life out of that meaningless existence!

Mind the gap...

It is vital to mind the gap...

The gap between,

what you thought you would achieve and how you would change the world..
and what you achieved when you took the first backward glance at 30!