Monday, August 21, 2006

Long-distance relationships

Long-distance relationships are a myth! Most couples have to deal with it at one point of time or the other. I am talking about the couples I know… my tech + MBA background should tell you what kind of highly mobile species I am referring to here. With the constant churn in jobs and professional responsibilities and not to forget individual aspirations, it is inevitable that couples today are leading increasingly distinct lives. Pawmee says he is happy to occupy just 15% of his girl’s life. And he expects no “less” in return! But can most other couples say the same about their partners?

Techie couples get caught up with separate projects in 2 remote corners of the world and then go through the emotionally draining stages of prophesying-your-undying-love to why-can’t-you-understand-my-situation to honey-it’s-ok-we-will-be-together-soon to we-are-growing-apart to let’s-try-to work-on-this to I-don’t-want-you-to-work-anymore to I-understand to I-don’t-care-just-quit-your-job-and-come-back to this-is-not-working-for-us-anymore to god-knows-where…

B-school couples are even queerer. They go through the stages of let’s-just-get-to-know-each-other to I-can’t-plan-my-courses-without-you to we-should-both-get-the-highest-paying-job to damn-we-are-in-diff-geographies-now to let’s-postpone-marriage-for-a-year-or-two to let’s-establish-ourselves-in-the-corporate-jungle to both-of-us-wanna-be-CEOs to why-can’t-we-just-live-together to let’s-start-our-own-business and again to god-knows-where…

But then I see my friends, who are beating the odds and successfully tackling the issues involved and who live in the hope and confidence that theirs is not a relationship that will go one of the 2 ways described above. And I smile. I acknowledge the strength it takes to pull it through trying times. Hats off to all of you – Chotu, Pawmee, Meetika, Mandy, Warikoo, Kapil!

Yes, it’s a myth – but one that doesn’t necessarily end on a sad note! Every myth has a hero and a lesson. I think it’s about time I learnt mine and moved on…

21 comments:

ankur said...

its tuff dude...its real tuff. surprisingly it was tuffer when i was in ISB...for a yr...than when i was in the US for 3 yrs..!!

and at times...u question...am i fooling myself to believe that things r still the same?

and then...after 3 months...you get to spend 48 hrs with her...and go...shit..its so true...am still in love...!

:)

~a

PS: tu to theek hai naa...??? one thing tht always remained a mystery to me at ISB...was ur love life..! :)

Pratik said...

You are a lucky bastard! And you know it :)

My love life was more of a private affair, than a mystery. Mystery woh hoti hai jo pata ho lekin samajh mein na aaye. Jab kuch pata hi na ho to use mystery nahi kehte!

educatedunemployed said...

Maintaining a relationship by itself is challenging.Add on the distance, I really wonder how people do it.
Enjoyed the natural history of relationships presented here.

Ford Prefect said...

Dude , now that you are off to the US of A , suggest you take a crash course in making long distance relationships work ... On second thoughts , you are gonna be in teh state of Blondes ... so forget about it ... ;-)

Pratik said...

That's the problem EU... we try to maintain and sometimes even manage relationships. Wish all relationships were like those friends whom you can call after 5 years and still pick up the last thread of conversation like it was just a few moments ago...

Ford, that's the dilemma that prompted the post in the first place! By the way, Second thoughts are always more worthy of attention, I think ;)

Unknown said...

wow! honored to find a mention..so no more gyaan from me... but you've got the pulse of B-life unerringly!

PS: cant resist this...trick to a good LDR? stop asking foolish questions romanti-xistential questions like warikoo's!

Shruti said...

hi dear,
today, maintaining relationship is really a tough job..everyone needs their own space, wants to grow more professionaly and in between all relatinships come...which mean you have to compromise with either one..n thats decide their future...

nyways.take care..

PNA said...

hey Prathik

wow! like the way you sketched the stages....just shows how priorities in life changes over time ....
relationships .....necessary evil ....another one in that list ...

Ash

Pratik said...

Spew - am not even looking for a trick to a good LDR! Been there, done that!
And man, don't stop spewing... you make good copy ;)

Pratik said...

Shruti - I don't agree with the "compromise on one front" philosophy. You just have to discover yourself, together with the other person. And the relationships I have seen reinforce my belief!

Ash - necessary evil. But so is ice-cream. The trick is to enjoy it while it lasts! Or if possible, find your own way to make it last longer!

don'thaveaclue said...

dude...cud u get add a comment on http://isbleague.blogsome.com/ with the url to this blog. Bharani will do the rest..thats assumng you ain't going incognito here

Pratik said...

no dude, no incognito stuff goin on here. But didn't get ut msg... what is that you want me to do on Isbleague???

Life Lover said...

I was so motivated by some LDR's not working and few LDR's working in my side of the world that I wrote a story on it. Not kidding, If you have the time and the intention, read it here: http://www.littleindia.com/march2005/HoneyJustCalled.htm

Anonymous said...

commitment!! thats the only word that can define succesful love relationships....distance just grows the bond fonder...just makes u realize bit by bit...what ur love means to u....so, the love either grows or the two grows apart :) with distance....

educatedunemployed said...

Got to know from Big B that you are making your big move.New journey, new friends new life..some of which you have blogged about.Just came around to wish you good luck, and hope to see many more posts by you.

Pratik said...

Thx EU... yeah, am on the move... hang on. Just been a bit busy last week and gonne be busier the week ahead. So the next post might be after that...

Ford Prefect said...

Where are you dude ??? Nagpur ??

Pratik said...

Ford... right now in Mumbai, headed back to Ngp tonight. You planning a trip anytime in Sept?

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